Web Talk

	Web Talk

	Hello! Our fair City!!!	We're Hard and Floppy, the Diskdrive brothers, and we're here to solve all your web problems, even if you don't think you have any! In fact, you can't leave our shop here in River Edge ...
	Well, Flop, I got a letter from this little old lady in Hackensack - I think that's New Jersey... Oh, yeah! Har! Har! Har!	...without a new and exciting array of the latest problems that you never even heard of before. And for that we get paid! But this is free media; so, what are we going to do unto these unsuspecting freeloaders... I mean, our dear audience... today, my brother? It's right next door, you jerk!
	Anyway, she says that her friends at her Temple all get email from the Temple office... I think she is referring to Sunday school that happens on Saturday in Hackensack and River Edge and some other strange places. Would ya let me at least finish? Anyway, she isn't gettin' any. Email, I mean. She wants to know why not. A severe conundrum, methinks.	Temple? Now wait a second. How did she get from Hackensack to Philadelphia? Couldn't she have gone to a neighborhood school? She must be as smart as you are! Okay, but stop interrupting yourself. We haven't got all day, ya know. Nah, we get this in the shop all the time. They forget to give the office their email address, especially when it changes. All they have to do is call (201) 489-2463, but like I said before, they're almost as smart as you are..
	Now, wait a second. You take exception when they insult me. Or maybe it's the other way around. . But there's gotta be another thing going on here. She says she gave her email address to the office, and it hasn't changed, and she used to get email. Then, all of a sudden, it stopped. Something has gone awry in her universe, something metaphysical, mysterious... No, who? I mean, sure I want to know who. Was it Elvis? If I don't know who it is, it must be Elvis. I like the Elvis theory... Right! Right! Right! No.	The only thing mysterious is how they let you graduate from nursery school, knucklehead! When we had somebody in the shop with a similar problem, I figured out easily whose fault it was. Want to know who? What makes you think it was Elvis? Well, I guess, people you don't know can't de-Pres you. Anyway, I'll tell you who. It was Bill Gates. I tell you, Bill Gates is causing this lady's trouble. Look: Bill Gates owns MSN/Hotmail, right? And Bill Gates owns Internet Explorer, right? And Bill Gates owns Outlook Express, right? So, you see the problem.
	Ohhh. I think I see your point. It sounds like her MSN mailbox got full and won't add any new messages. But, wait a second, doesn't Bill send a message from Bill's mailbox over Bill's browser to Bill's local mail manager on her computer to say what's happening back in Bill's Internet mail system? Wouldn't that bring all the cosmic discordances back into perfect alignment? But it would be so easy. I guess you just have to keep on doing it and prevent your mailbox from ever getting full Don't websurf like MY brother. Har! Har! Har!	That's because you're a knucklehead. All right, let's start in the beginning again, only this time from the end. One day she's gettin' messages, and the next day she isn't, right? Well, what does that remind you of? No It is. And he used to do that. Now he wants you to signon to MSN to check your mailbox. And maybe to check out the ads that run on MSN for everything from dating services to divorce counseling . But you don't have to signon to MSN; you can delete or move messages from your Outlook Express inbox, and eventually that cleans out MSN/Hotmail, too, just like before. The trick is, how do you know when to do that if you never signon to MSN and you don't know that your incoming messages are getting flushed down the cybertoilet? Right! Even a knucklehead like you can figure this one out.. Well, that's all we have time for today. Web Talk was produced and directed by C P Ewing; the video engineer was Mona Tor; our director of subsidiary relations is Perry Ferral; our network supervisor is T C Pip, who occasionally resorts to getting help from Moe Dim and Esther Nett, a twisted pair, indeed. And, although Temple Sholom declares war every time we say it, we are brought to you by TSHOLOM.NET. Remember, don't websurf like my brother. Web Talk is a blatant, but original and non-profitable, imitation of Car Talk, a presentation of National Public Radio. Listen to Car Talk on WNYC-AM 820 at 12 Noon on Saturdays, and on the web at http://cartalk.cars.com/.